P R I N T 

HUMOR PIECES

10 Signs You're More Than Ready To Study Abroad

Jillian Malone April 2016

 

You've had a running countdown since the day you received the email that you were accepted into your study abroad program. It seems as if time is slowly ticking by and that the day will never come. Here are 10 signs your more than ready for the day you hop on a plane and begin the adventure of a lifetime.

10 Most Basic Captions You Saw This Valentine's Day

Jillian Malone February 2016

 

February 14, the most loved and hated day of the year, has come and passed. It brought with it a newsfeed full of couples kissing, gifts of chocolate and roses, and endless bottles of wine. No matter your relationship status, you're sure to have seen a day full of cheesy, overused captions.

 

Roses are red, violets are blue, we've seen these captions before and so have you. Check out the top ten.

10 Reasons Your Brother Is Your Best Friend And Also Worst Enemy

Jillian Malone February 2016

 

You know the phrase: Can't live with them, can't live without them. Whoever came up with that phrase definitely had to have a brother of their own. Here are reasons everyone can agree with that make your brother your best friend and worst enemy.

20 Reasons You Should Live In Your Sorority House

Jillian Malone February 2016

 

Movies and television shows have painted the idea of living in a sorority house with 50 other girls as a nightmare, but that could not be further from the truth. If you hate late nights full of laughter, pizza parties, movies and being able to say you made the most of your college years with the girls you consider to be your sisters, then you should stick to the dorms or find an apartment. If you would enjoy any of the 20 following experiences, then you should definitely consider calling your sorority house your home.

20 Phrases You Probably Said Over Thanksgiving Break

Jillian Malone December 2015

 

The highly-anticipated long weekend of stuffing your face with pie, binge-watching Netflix, finally sleeping in past noon and avoiding frenemies from your hometown has come and regretfully passed. You are now approaching the worst few weeks of your life (a.k.a. finals) and dreaming about the glory days of Thanksgiving past. No matter who you are or how many awkward questions your aunts asked you about college and your love life, here are 20 phrases you probably said.

15 Things Austinites Who Attend UT Understand

Jillian Malone December 2015

 

It's true what they say: Austin really is the best city in the world. That's why us Austinites (the true Austinites that is) decided to forgo attending some out-of-state college with regular temperatures in the negative degrees with our decision to enroll in the university we dreamt our whole lives of attending. Now that we finally set foot on the Forty Acres as official Longhorns, we've encountered some unique experiences that only fellow Austinites can understand.

A College Student's Guide to Parents' Weekend

Jillian Malone November 2015

 

Parents' Weekend: the much-feared yet highly-anticipated weekend of the fall semester in which college students everywhere have to put on a smile to convince their parents that yes, they have been on their best behavior and studying every single night (and no, they did not go to a mixer on a Tuesday night when they had a huge exam the next morning). It's a time for students to show off how amazing their college is to their parents, convince their mothers that they are being safe and smart and don't need them calling or texting every hour to be sure, and for the students to be spoiled with non-dorm food and shopping (with their parents' credit card, of course). Be prepared for these inevitable situations and reactions during parents' weekend.

20 Signs You've Lived In the San Jacinto Dormitory

Jillian Malone November 2015

 

San Jacinto Dormitory: home of the squirrels, Texas football team, Cypress Bend Cafe and all of the lucky freshmen who turned in their housing preferences early enough to get their first choice of dorm. It may not be in West Campus, but with game days and the interesting residents, San Jac brings about a wildness of its own that's bound to stay with you, even when you've moved out of your shoe-box room. Here's how you know.

30 Things Every College Student Says

Jillian Malone November 2015

 

Place someone who is supposed to be an adult but acts like a child in the world of studying, 8 a.m. classes, cranky professors, partying and nonstop social life, and the result is a bunch of stressful, sleepless nights. If you consider yourself among this population, you're bound to have said each of these phrases.

10 Things That Happen During College Hell Week

Jillian Malone October 2015

 

The joy of syllabus week and the stress-free days of college classes have disappeared as the overwhelming stress of exam week becomes more and more realistic. That impossible exam where you said, "oh, I have two weeks to study for," is now tomorrow, and you quickly realize that you still haven't even ordered the textbook. Know you're not alone because students everywhere are in the same state of panic and will all unfortunately face these 11 situations during hell week.

13 Types of People You Meet at College Football Games

Jillian Malone September 2015

 

Summer has ended, bringing about the most highly anticipated season of the year: football season. It's time to bring out the foam fingers, cover yourself in face paint, ring the cowbells, and adorn yourself in your school of choice's colors to show your support. Before you head off to the big game, here are 13 of the people you should prepare yourself to encounter while (hopefully) cheering your team to victory.

20 Struggles UT Students Know All Too Well

Jillian Malone September 2015

 

Congratulations! You are admitted into the greatest university in world, and will join the rankings of Longhorns like Michael Dell (fingers crossed), Kevin Durant (if only I was that athletic), and Matthew McConaughey (alright, alright, alright). As you begin your journey on the Forty Acres, know that four (or more if you want to do a victory lap) of the best years of your life are about to begin, but there will be challenges too. The eyes of Texas are upon you, and you cannot get away from these 20 struggles that Longhorn students know all too well.

12 Types Of People You Meet Your First Week Of Class

Jillian Malone September 2015

 

The last few weeks of August mark the end of summer and all of its glory, as well as the beginning of the all-too-familiar weight of heavy textbooks lugged around in backpacks, and the sound of contagious yawns as every professor recites the syllabus and reminds students (for the 50th time) about the academic dishonesty policy. College classes have officially begun, and whether you call yourself a Texas Longhorn, an Oklahoma Sooner, a Texas A&M Aggie, or something else, everyone can agree that these are 12 of the types of people you are bound to meet in your first week of classes.

11 Awkward Moments Everyone Experiences During Sorority Recruitment

Jillian Malone September 2015

 

Sorority recruitment is a time full of small talk, running around in a cocktail dress and flip-flops from house to house, blistered feet, and finding lifelong best friends to take millions of photo booth pictures and decide on Instagram captions with. It is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that brings with it a roller coaster of emotions, loads of memories and inevitably awkward encounters that are guaranteed to make you cringe. Here's a list of some of the most common "that awkward moment when..." recruitment stories that sorority women know all too well.

© 2017 by JILLIAN MALONE